The Pennsic War Drinking Song

Words and Tune by : Dagonell the Juggler

CHORUS:
You don't win a war by dying for your kingdom,
You win a war by killing them for theirs.
So, let's fight the Pennsic for Honor, Fame and Glory.
Carry proud the banner for the Eastern Crown.

When Count Hanno was a lowly scout for the Eastern army,
He came across two Mid-Realm scouts and ordered them to stay.
Then he went to get a fighter, who quickly did dispatch them.
They went to resurrection, Hanno laughed as he walked away.

CHORUS

When Duke Hasdrubal was first-time king, he had a bout with heatstroke.
He went to the chirurgeons. "Who are you?", they did say.
He replied, "I'm mighty Hasdrubal, the King of all the Eastern Realm!"
And having stated who he was, he fainted dead away!

CHORUS

A former Rhydderich Hael lord now lives in Indiana.
He got a big promotion and he got the moving itch.
But when he comes to Pennsic, he's fighting for the Tyger.
His only explanation is, "I'd rather fight than switch!"

CHORUS

Now let us speak of Tuchux, who say, "Shields are for sissies.
Armor is for cowards. All you need are skins and furs."
They look just like barbarians. They fight like untamed animals.
They're only wild savages, and the men are even worse.

CHORUS

The Eastern army's awesome. The Mid-Realm army's gruesome!
The clamor from the battle says that war is really hell!
But the East Realm has an alibi for telling all their ladies.
If they lose the battle, they'll just blame it on John the Pell!

CHORUS

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